Our 19 week scan

Yes we are nearly at half way point and definately feels surreal....I love every chance we get to see our baby on the big screen lol...and we committed to our promise of not finding out the sex even though how tempting it was Baby was not co-operating and was quite content for the examination not wanting to move for the sonographer at all...we had take 1 ..then I had to relief bladder to see if we could wake baby up to move...nope take 2 failed....so we had to go away and walk for 15 minutes and have a cold drink of lemonade to get this baby to roll over so she could do further testing...welll yahh take 3 even though only slightly moved...she got what she needed... So this picture is the best 4d profile picture she could get (would not move hand away from face then kept moving hand around the face lol)...this time we got our session on DVD and only printed pictures so I had to scan them...Hubby and I from the face bone structure already sat down and worked out what facial features baby takes after lol....Hubby is so cute and was so excited when we sat down and analysed the facial features What we believe it has hubby's eyes and high cheek bones...nose we cant tell as not defined enough ...but my lips and chin...but thats with no fat on the face...so of course baby will change when born but it is still fun to analyse... We got the sonographer to write down sex on piece of paper and seal in envelope...and whilst we on way home and out at dinner...hubby kept saying I want to look and deep down I m like I dont want you to know as I dont want to know and it will change the pregnancy forever and no going back if find out...So we shredded the envelope when we got home so no temptation for hubby...I was ok I would not look at it at all but couldnt trust hubby and he said he couldnt trust himself lol..so Team Green it is!!!! So off this weekend to put my furniture on order....and go pram shopping again but this time with Mum...we have so many choices out there for options....it is fun but also overwhelming but we will get there in the end... In between...I did have a moment in the ultrasound place as this was last place I went to prior to getting diagnosed with endo and when I had to see my missed miscarriage on the big screen..I had this flashback for 2 minutes as I dont know why but I sat in the same bloody chair and place when I went there for reconfirmation of my prior miscarriage...so I had a little cry then went to myself STOP it shake it off..and moved seats...as I wanted to remember today as a new memory and an exciting time for us ahead...I looked at the hospital and said I will now have a new beautiful memory of this place...I never had any of my ultrasounds at this place for IVF...but now Iwill have memories of my pregnancy #2 with having a baby!!!!

Crazy planning

Now most of the time I am an organised person and perfectionist but over the last 12 months or so...I have tried to let go ...obviously still like planning but I cant control every outcome...all I can do is do my best and things will work out Since January this year, hubby and I have been planning and organising a new entertainment area...alfresco dining..sunken eating area....yes we had started this journey since january this year...and guess what...we are still at designing stage ...lol ..I think we have decided now what we want...note, we thought originally we could afford a pool and new entertainment area but who would think an outdoor entertaining area would cost so much...so anyways we are leaving provision for the much future ie 5 years time or so to put pool in but we still want entertainment area... Now its choosing a builder...designing takes time and over this process I have trusted many professionals with the task at hand but man the new builder and designer had this job since June and we are still going...so looks like my goal of having it done by xmas (I thought 12 months was good expectation of having it done by) that it will not... Anyways there are worse things in the world and I am not letting it get us down...we have far more better things to focus on ie baby to come and all the costs associated Anyways I was hoping we could have my hubbys 40th next year in January (note, I will be 8 months pregnant) at home and my baby shower (which will be in mid January)...well well after last weeks meeting with builder...I have decided to not stress myself out about it and have decided to not put unnecessary pressure on thinking the entertainment area will get done by xmas...so I have been looking at holding hubbys 40th at a restaurant. with air conditioning...but the issue is can we ask people to pay in lieu of gift? I have done this before for my 30th and for my mums 60th, nannas 90th and with baby coming along another $1500 - $2000 for his bday will be stretching budget....or can we pay for meals and get people to buy own drinks at bar (as there are separate bars at both restaurants people can get served at) The hard thing is we want to invite all the people on the list but if we have to pay we may need to cull it and is it really fair for people not being able to come because we dont want to pay but if we get them to pay the numbers are unlimited....and by the way out of approx 65 people there are 15 kids.... Also my baby shower courtesy of my mother in law she said we can have it there since she has space, air conditioned room and a tiled garage floor all which we can use for a hot summers day in January..Im so greatful she will let us have it there...mums house not big enough in air conditioning to fit us or my sisters so mother in law it will be I also bought a month ago on line a catering voucher for canapes for $350 for $1200 worth of food for 40 people so me thinking I can use this for the baby shower .... In between I still have everything else to plan for buying baby things, trying to get all my clients work done by xmas and prepare for an audit of my business... Now I know I will get there and letting the wheels of motion move everything along at same time..... but one thing I have decided is then entertainment area outside we can use it for babys christening...now there is a plan!!!!! PS in relation to pregnancy status ..we go for our 19 week scan this week...and Im so excited...I really dont want to find out what it is but it will be so tempting in the moment to ask....how do you get around that one?

Fathers Day to be

(I apologise in advance for no paragraphs even though I typed in paragraphs it wont post this way!!) Fathers Day and Mothers Day when they appear every year...its just another reminder to those trying to conceive for something they so long and desire to be parents and feeling isolated and left out... I definately and clearly still know what that feels like but this Fathers Day was one that we could finally feel like we are moving along....well so what our baby is not born yet...so what if your a parent to an angel or so what if your a parent to the furry kind...I feel we should celebrate all of these type of parents on these special days.... Well this Fathers Day we could finally feel like we could take that next step in celebrating this day...I chose to buy my husband a card and make him breakfast in bed (however he chose to get out and not wanting to eat breakfast) but I did end up making him nice morning tea sandwich... It was a weird feeling to know we are nearly half way through the pregnancy (well 16 weeks tomorrow) but I still wanted to share and enjoy the day with my husband So I got my mum to take a photo of us together with baby belly as this would be a once in a life time moment we would ever get to do this I also decided that I am not plastering my pregnancy announcement on facebook...this pregnancy and my journey TTC was not something I want to publicise to the world and have told people in variety of ways and still enjoying telling others especially my clients as I see them or people not so close to me....who knows I may at 20 weeks put something on facebook but I am not ready yet...after all the pain and trauma we have gone through to get here I dont feel its appropriate to brag to the world!! However, many friends and family have been so supportive of our news and excited and I have already been receiving gifts of congratulations...many people are so excited as they know we have been trying for a loong time! So here is hoping everyone had a happy Fathers Day on Sunday