Crazy planning

Now most of the time I am an organised person and perfectionist but over the last 12 months or so...I have tried to let go ...obviously still like planning but I cant control every outcome...all I can do is do my best and things will work out Since January this year, hubby and I have been planning and organising a new entertainment area...alfresco dining..sunken eating area....yes we had started this journey since january this year...and guess what...we are still at designing stage ...lol ..I think we have decided now what we want...note, we thought originally we could afford a pool and new entertainment area but who would think an outdoor entertaining area would cost so much...so anyways we are leaving provision for the much future ie 5 years time or so to put pool in but we still want entertainment area... Now its choosing a builder...designing takes time and over this process I have trusted many professionals with the task at hand but man the new builder and designer had this job since June and we are still going...so looks like my goal of having it done by xmas (I thought 12 months was good expectation of having it done by) that it will not... Anyways there are worse things in the world and I am not letting it get us down...we have far more better things to focus on ie baby to come and all the costs associated Anyways I was hoping we could have my hubbys 40th next year in January (note, I will be 8 months pregnant) at home and my baby shower (which will be in mid January)...well well after last weeks meeting with builder...I have decided to not stress myself out about it and have decided to not put unnecessary pressure on thinking the entertainment area will get done by xmas...so I have been looking at holding hubbys 40th at a restaurant. with air conditioning...but the issue is can we ask people to pay in lieu of gift? I have done this before for my 30th and for my mums 60th, nannas 90th and with baby coming along another $1500 - $2000 for his bday will be stretching budget....or can we pay for meals and get people to buy own drinks at bar (as there are separate bars at both restaurants people can get served at) The hard thing is we want to invite all the people on the list but if we have to pay we may need to cull it and is it really fair for people not being able to come because we dont want to pay but if we get them to pay the numbers are unlimited....and by the way out of approx 65 people there are 15 kids.... Also my baby shower courtesy of my mother in law she said we can have it there since she has space, air conditioned room and a tiled garage floor all which we can use for a hot summers day in January..Im so greatful she will let us have it there...mums house not big enough in air conditioning to fit us or my sisters so mother in law it will be I also bought a month ago on line a catering voucher for canapes for $350 for $1200 worth of food for 40 people so me thinking I can use this for the baby shower .... In between I still have everything else to plan for buying baby things, trying to get all my clients work done by xmas and prepare for an audit of my business... Now I know I will get there and letting the wheels of motion move everything along at same time..... but one thing I have decided is then entertainment area outside we can use it for babys christening...now there is a plan!!!!! PS in relation to pregnancy status ..we go for our 19 week scan this week...and Im so excited...I really dont want to find out what it is but it will be so tempting in the moment to ask....how do you get around that one?