I have a very passionate husband who loves his sport and i do love him for that. However cricket is not a 2 hour sport its a very loong game so it does take up a lot of our personal time together.
For the nearly 8 years we have been married he has played every season and for the last 3 seasons I go, we will have our bundle of joy so no more cricket, however, when our bundle of joy has not come, I think all well let him do something he enjoys.
Now with our TTC becoming more intense and onset of IVF in May, of course I am hoping and wanting a successful IVF round #1 and I assume no baby due during cricket season but possibly the end. However, I just want some me time with hubby and to be able to on weekends have freedom to do what we want so we talked and I asked him can he hang up his boots for a season?
Anyways for the one game I attended to this season being the grand final, lots of his peers began to ask me the question, why cant he play next year please let him play,. I understand their passion and love for the sport and my husbands passion, I really love him for that and his dedication to it. I love watching the male bonding experience however am I unfair to ask that I want some more time with my own DH. My husband has a wonderful and talented team with many young hopefuls 18-20 year olds and he is their mentor and I love that he can give them that but I want a bit of my husband back to myself, is that too much to ask? If it was another sport that did not play so long, we could get a balance but when every saturday night for 6 months is left unsociable or not much to do as he is too tired to do anything just for one season I want it back.
You never know whats around the corner I know but I start to feel guilty that I am making him give up something he loves, now I am not a wife who controls him and tells him what to do, not at all, but every decision we make it involves each other but why did he not tell me he told the whole cricket team I told him he has to hang up his boots..I never said that ....and yesterday I was bombarded with questions but I stood my ground to the others telling them its a decision we will make together...and with all this hormonal treatment one of the fathers asked me why cant he play in a nice manner as the boys my husband mentors played together for 10 years and my husband does an excellent job and I just covered my face and had a cry..I feel guilty I may tear apart the team..I feel guilty that my husband lost the grand final this year and I should let him play one more year so he can take out the title just one more time...but just one more time when will it end? The man was apologetic and I said its ok you did not make me cry we just have a lot going on personally to deal with...so I hope I made my point without being too direct
Is the universe testing me again for us to make a decision instead of me waiting for what we desire so that forces us to make the decision...I think I will give it some more time to discuss with husband and at the presentation maybe we have an answer by then and if not,, may be I do not go to avoid more questions as at that time I will be undergoing FSH injections and possibly a transfer so I do not need questions at that time
I understand where you are coming from as my husband has a passion too (fishing and diving) which takes up alot of time but I imagine it wouldn't be as much as cricket would. (((BIG HUG))) Such a hard one, and no, I don't think you're asking too much at all. Could he be involved with the team without being a full time member?
ReplyDeleteThanks Haidee Im not sure if he plays casual that would be playing two weekends a month so that would be a fair compromise but as long as he does not feel he should play more...we tried that once before and he ended up playing more but we will work out a compromise Im sure..I just want him there for me emotionally during IVF and TTC..but it is wonderful our hubbys have their own passion without needing to be by our side all the time but we have to work out a balance right..I see your bedroom is still awaiting lol
ReplyDeleteThat is tricky, isn't it? I am sure you guys will have a good chat and get things worked out to a better balance for everyone.
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