Slightly going insane

Its probably all the hormones escalating things at the moment and poor dear hubby (DH) has to take the brunt of it

He was all excited that he had some male bonding time with his brother yesterday who is married to this Sister in law I spoke about last week ie self absorbed...the one whose world evolves around her,,then Dh decides to tell me they are going to try for number 3 soon in a couple of months...Im like what....these people got married 6 months earlier then us...suffered a miscarriage two months after mine and everything was about pooor her and her miscarriage and then she falls naturally within 2 - 3months and here I am 2 years later (well now pregnant by IVF) but still waiting for baby no. 1 ..now they feel the need to tell the whole bloody world they are trying for number 3...like you go up to a vending machine and press baby fertilise now and it happens like clockwork...if so this will mean she will have the perfectly planned gap of 2 years between each child ...what the? It gives me the blooody shits...things in life arent perfect and things dont go to plan...we dont have control over it but we can try .....I dont want to be pregnant at same time she is I mean we will probably be 4 months ahead of her but I dont want to share this with her...she is last person I want to share with....(I would love my best friend my own sister who has secondary infertility and wanting a second child to share with...so hopefully god will answer my prayers on that front)

and there is no granddaughter on my husbands side so if one of us is granted a girl she will want to the girl I know it ..she wanted a girl from baby #1 and now she has two boys....well god gave her two boys but I dont want her to give the grandparents the girl...I mean we do not care what sex our baby is honestly we dont.... we want a healthy baby thats all but please god do not give her the girl..let my other sister in law produce it if its going to happen .....because everything is always focused around her well she tries to be and when the other grandchildren fled overseas she had the only grandkids in Australia for 3 years until my sister in law recently gave birth and you do not know how happy I was to see that her kids will not get all the attention now..I am not normally evil or nasty but this women drives me nuts


So much poor dear hubby and I got into an argument because I said I dont want to know what she is doing...she annoys me ...she is insensitive and does not give a shit about any one else...even if I tell her what we had to go through to get our baby she still wouldnt bloody understand and I dont know if i want to expel my energy on her...I just cant handle anything to do with her ...I think its build up of angst towards her and extra hormones....

So after our 8.5 week scan we may tell immediate family as the family overseas are coming to visit in couple of weeks so if we can we would like to share it then...then I have to think about my plan of attack on how we announce it...do we go into detail or not about our journey as I dont need to justify to anyone why we have been so self centred lately and trying to look after me...

anyways I have some time to think about it without any further confrontations with her